The Worst Adventure Ever

Four years ago, I was in North Carolina.  I was starting my mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  If you are Mormon, you have probably heard the saying, "The best two years."  This refers to a person's mission being the best years of their life.  My mission was anything but my best years.  As I see Facebook posts about people remembering how awesome their missions were, I find myself trying to forget things that happened on my mission.  I tell myself to let it go.  I tell myself to forget my mission and move on with my life; it's holding me back.  I guess this post is a way I am trying to do that.  I need to let the memories stop haunting me and enabling me to feel pity for my past.  Bad things happen to everyone, why should I let mine keep me from being happy?  Why should I feel bad?  I am not an exception.  People move on, so should I.

Before moving on, if you are contemplating serving a mission, I just want to remind you of one thing:  you will be a representative of Christ.  This means that you will be "despised and rejected of men" and "acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3).  Are you ready to be hated?  Because I can promise you that you will be hated.  You will be told to go to Hell.  People will slam doors in your face.  But, I also want to remind you that as a representative of Jesus Christ, you are also charged with the care of a companion.  This, my friends, is what I want to share with you.

Again before moving on, I want to apologize to all of my companions.  I know that I can be difficult to live with.  I don't love people in the same ways that others love.  I don't give hugs and say, "I love you."  I tried to be better.  I know that some of you did not feel love in the way that you would have wanted.  I am sorry for that.  I do my best to love everyone and treat them as human beings.  I apologize if I failed.  I want you to know that I did not hate you.  Okay, now we can move on.

If you don't know already, as a child, I had a lot of suicidal thoughts.  The thing that kept me from killing myself was a fear of Hell--and then later, knowing that Heavenly Father loves me and has a purpose for me.  These thoughts were common in junior high and slowly faded away throughout high school.  I was greatly blessed with these thoughts being taken away.  Not everyone will have that.  Some people have these thoughts persist their entire lives.  Somehow I was lucky.  Anyway, by the time I got my mission call, I wasn't having suicidal thoughts anymore.

My sister served a mission at the same time as me.  She had started her mission 6 weeks before me, and ended 6 weeks before me.  When I saw her for the first time after my mission, we embraced and I said to her, "I hope your mission was better than mine."

During the last two weeks of my mission, I prayed every night that the Lord wouldn't let me wake up.  I prayed that it would be my last day.  This is how I had come to deal with my suicidal thoughts.  I thought that instead of acting on these thoughts, I should put it in the hands of the Lord.  I knew that if He kept me alive, there was still more that I needed to accomplish in life.  If he let me die, I would finally be taken from my miseries.  Here is why I had suicidal thoughts on my mission.

I felt that my companions hated me.  I felt this way because I was told that I was unlovable.  I was told I was like a ball and chain, "I hate you," and that it was my fault that things went wrong.  I was reminded that it was my lack of faith keeping us from finding people to teach.  (Which also made me question my faith.)  I was accused of being "trunky" (a word which here means mentally AWOL while being physically present) because I mentioned death near the end of my mission.  In reality, I had had three family members die while I was on my mission.  So death was just something that I thought about.  Often.  It still is.

The doubt and awful feelings for myself increased throughout my mission.  I questioned my faith.  I questioned whether or not I was actually a good person.  I began to wonder how I was such a terrible person that all of my companions hated me.  I tried to serve my companions to let them know that I was trying to not be awful.  I tried to get out of their way when I knew that they hated the way I did things.  I just didn't understand.  I didn't know how when I tried so hard, I still ended up hated.  I still couldn't do things right.  The harder I tried the worse I was.  I was nothing.

Serving a mission is hard.  You have to constantly think of others and serve them.  You have to be willing to be hated.  During those 18 months, I told myself over and over, "I am not serving my mission for my companions, I am serving it for the Lord."  The Lord is the one who trusted me.  I forgot to see that.  I learned a lot about Jesus Christ.  I learned to love people.  My mission taught me that Jesus Christ is there in every small thing.  He wants His children to know Him.  My relationship with Him increased.  Even though I failed at trying to be kind to companions and loving them in the way they feel love, Jesus Christ loved me and them.

My mission is something I try to forget, but I try to remember my relationship with Christ.  When I forgot about myself and remembered what I was doing, I was truly happy.  Serving God's children is one of the best callings ever.  He knows what He is doing, even when we don't.  I would totally recommend serving a mission if you want to know God.  Just know that serving a mission comes with a price.  Are you willing to pay that price?  I'll let you know that the price is much less than the worth.  God loves you.  He knows you.  Even when you feel worthless and that you can't get better, He loves you.  He will help you be truly happy.  His happiness is like no other happiness on earth.

Go with God

Dragon Warriors

Recently, I posted a picture of some of my notes from General Conference.  Which is just this drawing:

I thought I should explain why I drew this, and how it came up.  I was listening to the talk of Elder Hales.  He was talking about kindness and compassion--loving those who hate you.  As he was talking about this, my mission came to my memory.  I had many companions.  And they did NOT like me.  (Okay, maybe two liked me.)  Why was I dwelling on the past?  As I thought about the past, I had a quote come to mind that has been attributed to many people, but the following picture shows who I imagined it coming from:

This reminded me more of my mission.  We had a member of the quorum of the seventy come to our mission, and he was telling us that we determined whether or not we would be good missionaries.  This reminded me of the part in "Kung Fu Panda" where Po's father tells him

I decided to be a dragon warrior.  I can let the past determine the future or not.  (I'm still working on that one.)  But, the greatest thing is not that I have any special talents or awesomeness.  There is nothing that makes me more special than anyone else.  I can be a dragon warrior because I work hard and fight for what is right.  This became a theme for my mission.  And, I still think about after.

This is why I draw dragon warriors.  I can be a dragon warrior.  Anyone can be a dragon warrior.

Retaking ALP

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, I am getting transferred. I am being transferred to Arizona. Can you believe it?  18 months has come and gone. 

So, I wanted to share something that I have thought.  In Elementary school, I was in the Accelerated Learning Program (ALP).  I would miss a few hours of my regular class to go learn in a special class with fewer students.  In junior high school and high school, it was known as 'honors.'  But, the kids in the honors classes tended to care more about school and learning.

On my mission, I have found that my gospel learning and loving has been more dense than before.  I drew a graph once that looked like this to describe it.  X is time.  Y is learning and loving.  The red box is my mission.  The acceleration is much greater than the time before it.  (I don't really think my learning is going to level out like the graph shows, but I wanted to show that there is/has been a difference.)  

As I drew this, I realized that a mission is an accelerated learning program.  ALP!  I am in ALP again.  And, I have found that I am kind of in my ALP/honors bubble.  There are more people that care about learning and loving Jesus Christ.  They want to learn.  It has been fun.  I love being around people who also want to do this.  They want to live the gospel.  It is so great to go to missionary meetings because there is such a wonderful spirit.  Everyone loves each other and wants to help each other.  I am truly going to miss this.  I love being a missionary.  I love being a gospel tutor.  I really get to teach people on an individual basis.  It is so fun.

Thanks for all of the help that you have given.  I am thankful that I have such great support.  I am grateful for a such a wonderful gift to give to others.  I am thankful for this Christmas season.  Christmas seriously is the best--people are thinking about Jesus Christ.  I am thankful for my Savior.  I am thankful for his sacrifice, that we may live again, that we can become more than what we currently are.  I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It is the true church.  I am thankful that I get to continue to share my testimony.  I love you.  I hope you are all doing well.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

The Atonement and Obedience

Dear Family,

I have come to know on my mission that I cannot change in one day.  I simply have weaknesses that I must live with and work on for years and years and years and years and maybe a lot more years.  So, I have learned--especially in the past two weeks--that what is required of me is to be obedient to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  And as I do so, the Atonement will have a part in my life.  Jesus Christ can heal me.  It will be slow in my eyes and get frustrated that I am not changing, but without a doubt, I am slowly being changed.

I have also learned that this means that I will be a stumbling block for others in the process.  I will be their trial that helps them change.  I hate this fact, but 'tis truth.  I may not necessarily be doing anything that is rude, low, or malicious, but I will still be a stumbling block.  I have weaknesses, and I make mistakes.  Others are going to have to live with choices that I have made and will make.  They may not like what I do.  So, they will have to make choices based on mine and learn lessons that are in store for them.  This is the uncomfortable and unpleasant truth of mortality: we are weak.

Luckily, God will let us be perfect in the end if we are obedient to His commandments and rely on the Atonement.

"In a world where sorrow

Ever will be known,

Where are found the needy

And the sad and lone,

How much joy and comfort

You can all bestow,

If you scatter sunshine

Ev'rywhere you go.

Scatter the smiles and sunshine all along your way.

Cheer and bless and brighten Ev'ry passing day."

(Scatter Sunshine, LDS Hymnal #230)

We may have weaknesses but we can still scatter sunshine.  Smile--it's good for the soul.

I love all of you.  I want to apologize for being a hurdle sometimes.  I want to thank you for loving me still.  I am thankful that I have a family that is so kind and generous and patient.  I know that the Lord loves you.  I am so thankful for the Atonement.  I am thankful that I can be more than what I currently am.  I am thankful for infinite chances.  I am thankful for commandments.  I love being a missionary.  I love the people of North Carolina.  And, I love my companion even if she doesn't think I do.  I pray for her and her family every night.  I know that God is watching over them.  He loves them and wants them to be happy.  Keep moving forward, for forward is the best and smartest way to go.  I love you (LOTS). 

Go with God,

Sister Turley

I was a missionary this week.

Dear Blog Readers (You really don't have to read if you don't want to.),

What do you want to know about?

I think I have said pretty much everything that I can think of.  I can officially stop writing letters.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

p.s.  We are trying to find people to teach. 

The Book That Changes My Life

Dear Family,

​I got to finish reading the Book of Mormon again this week.  It was a great experience.  My mission president, President Bernhisel, invites us to write our testimony before reading and after.  So, I wrote my testimony.  I just wanted to share that with you this week.

I want to reiterate the words of Joseph Smith from the Introduction: "a man [will] get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book."  This is the the Book of Mormon.  And the statement doesn't take away from the fact that the Bible is the word of God.  The Bible and the Book of Mormon are both scripture.

I am happier than I have ever been in my life.  And that could be because I am a missionary and share the gospel every day.  But, I know that reading the Book of Mormon has helped immensely with that.  As I have read, I have come to understand my Savior, Jesus Christ, better.  I have learned more about His Atonement and what it means to me.  I love Alma 36 because it truly shows the affects of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in one man's life. "O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me. . . "  "And oh, what joy, and marvelous light I did behold"

I have learned from the book of Ether that I can see God.  I can have faith to see Him.  God wants us to know Him.  Jesus Christ showed Himself to the Brother of Jared "and all this, that this man might know that he was God."  Jesus Christ promised in Matthew 5, "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God."  Alma 30:44 says, "all things denote there is a God" and "do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."

My eyes have been opened as I have read the Book of Mormon.  I can see God in my life more.  And God is the source of happiness.  Because I see Him, I am happy.  The Book of Mormon has allowed that to happen.  The Book of Mormon is truly God's word.  It truly brings me closer to Him.

I look forward to reading the Book more and coming even closer to Christ.  Below is the invitation and promise from Moroni.  Ask God.  He will tell you the truth.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

A Day in the Life of a Missionary

Dear Family,

Prepare for a story.  Sit down.  Relax.  This is going to be good.  Here is what I wrote in my journal about Tuesday.  I was on exchanges in Durham 1st ward.  Here goes.

On Tuesday, Sister Loftis and I woke up and did the normal morning routine.  Then Facebook and lunch.  Then we went to a woman's home to help her sort through clothes.  So, we went in service clothing. Then we were supposed to have a lesson with one of her neighbors, who I will call Kay.  I needed to use the bathroom, and Sister Loftis and I both needed to change back into proselyting clothes. I asked Sister Loftis if Kay's would be an okay place to change and use the bathroom.  Sister Loftis did not think so.  But, we decided to change in Kay's house anyways.  So, we took our clothes (in our backpacks) into Kay's house.  Here I will describe Kay's house: old, falling apart, stained brown and gray/black, lots of cobwebs, burnt bed from cigarettes, more brown marks, little pieces of who knows what on the floor, open boxes and wrappers of food, and more.  So, we changed in Kay's bedroom, but I kept my backpack between my knees so it wouldn't touch the ground. Oh, I forgot to mention that it reeked with cigarette smoke.  Poor Sister Kay also appeared worn down: greasy and matted hair, gray jacket with maybe throw up on the elbow, other spots of something on her jacket, brown and chipped teeth, brown stuff on her fingers (poop?), poop and pee on her pants, untrimmed nails, and a few other things.

Oh, and did I mention that the woman we were sorting clothes for had bedbugs?

After Kay, we went to the car.  And by this time, my bladder was about to burst.  Sister Loftis was going through her bag to find the car keys.  She didn't find them, so she looked in her backpack: nothing. So, she searched in her other bag.  So, I started walking around trying not to wet myself.  We both looked in the car to see if the keys were inside, but that proved futile.  Then, Sister Loftis resumed searching her purse.  Then, I did the unthinkable.  I peed my skirt!

Just kidding, I asked Sister Loftis about the member of the ward that lived across the street.  (Sister Loftis had mentioned her in Kay's house.)  I asked if her bathroom would be nicer than Kay's.  Turns out it was.  The member let us in and let me use her bathroom.  I was mighty close to wetting my skirt though.  The member, Sister Larson, chatted with us for a little bit.  We told her what we had done so far that day.  And explained why we had T-shirts on with our skirts (because we didn't feel comfortable in Kay's house and with the window's open).  Then Sister Larson helped us find our key.  She made Sister Loftis dump out the contents of her bags.  When we didn't find it, we went back to where the car was parked by Kay's apartment.  We traced our steps looking for the key. Then a man asked us what were looking for.  We told him.  Then he yelled to the members of his crew (who were destroying things in the apartment right next to Kay's) that he knew who the key belonged to.  So, they tossed him the key, and we got on our way.

We went to go contact a referral.  As were walking to the apartment, a twitchy, red-haired woman came up to us.  She asked us for money.  We , as politely as we could, declined.  And she continued to ask, but we still declined

Then she let us be.  We got to contact the referral.  It was a family, so the Durham 1st sisters have three new investigators.  We talked mostly  about the Book of Mormon.  We set up a return appointment and left.  When Sister Loftis and I got to the car, Sister Loftis couldn't find the phone.  So, we were once again digging through bags.  We were laughing pretty hard.  The twitchy woman came to us again.  She told us she had heard quite a bit of laughter.  She proceeded to tell us about a woman who feeds homeless people in the park.  Then she asked us for a dollar.  Once again, we declined.  We tried to tell her that as missionaries, we are not allowed to give money.  She told us that she already saw the dollar, so she was trying to convince us that it was our obligation to give it to her since she already saw it.  We just stood there.  Then she stomped her foot and blurted, "Ah hell (pronounced hay-yull), at least I tried!"  She gave us hugs and walked away.  That was disturbing.  We quickly got in the car and drove away.  We parked at Duke gardens to search once more for the phone.  Luckily, it was in Sister Loftis's bag.

We then drove to an assisted living home to help a woman in the ward sort papers. Her name is Sister S.  Sister Loftis was cleaning out a drawer, and I got to put different papers into a binder.  Sister S once gave me an envelope that had literally nothing on it.  It was supposed to be to send in a magazine subscription.  So, I handed it to Sister Loftis secretly, and she secretly threw it away.

Then Sister Loftis pulled out some toe nail clippers that had brown chunks on it.  Brown and orange chunks.  Sister S exclaimed, "Oh give me!  I've been looking for those!"  Then she grabbed them, saw there was something on them, and handed them back to Sister Loftis to throw away.  Sister Loftis promptly disposed of them.  When we were done and walking back to the car, Sister Loftis asked, "What was on those?!"  All I could reply was that there was a lot of yellow and orange and brown stuff in that drawer.

Then we went to our teaching appointment with the Gaskins.  Then we went to our dinner appointment.  We got ice cream!  Then we hurried home because it was time to exchange back.  And that, my friends, is a day in the life of a missionary.

How did you like it?

I am staying in Durham until December, so I'm looking forward to more adventures.  Being on a mission really opens eyes.  I am so glad that I get to share the message of the Restoration and the Atonement.  It will change to world, one little heart at a time.  I know that we all have work to do.  It may go slow sometimes, but it is work.  The Lord gets it done in His time.  Thanks for all of your support.  Keep moving forward.  I also want to say that I am thankful for hard times because it has really helped me find the good things even if they are small.  I am thankful that I know how to laugh.  I think it bugs my companion sometimes that I laugh so much, but I'd rather laugh that be grumpy all the time.  I am thankful for laughs.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

P.S.

This may not be what my story was about, but we do get to do some of this.  We get to do food orders every other Wednesday.  We get to help people get food when they cannot provide for themselves.

Once upon a time, I ate a hot dog.

Dear Family,

What should I write? 

Well, I was a missionary this week.  I got to try to find some people.  I taught at zone conference about not forgetting any ingredients in your cookies. It had to do with being consecrated missionaries.  When we are consecrated, we aren't missing any ingredients. (It was Sister Judd's epiphany.)  I got to watch "Meet the Mormons."  It was fantastic.

And, our investigator, Sara, came to church.

And we dug in the dirt a lot.  We helped people plant stuff a lot.  And, we cleaned people's houses.  We were in pants a lot this week.  Quite a relief.

And, I am still a missionary.  Always will be.

Oh!  I read about Alma the Younger today.  He was a terrible man.  But, he felt God's love.  He also felt awful bitterness.  I am so thankful that I have the Atonement in my life.  Because of Christ, I get to become more than what I am.  I love the Savior.  (My favorite about Alma the Younger is Alma 36.)

Go with God,

Sister Turley

Christmas music heals the soul.

Dear Family,

Most of my past and present companions don't like Christmas music unless it is Christmas.  So, I have't gotten to listen this year.  But, I finally just played some this week.  It was the best.  Let me repeat: it was the best.  I told Sister Judd that I usually start hearing Christmas music in July, so I have had 3 months of deprivation.  (I especially had to turn it on because the weather is becoming Christmas-like. It has been about 65 degrees the last few mornings when I have woken up.)  My companions have told me it gets them too excited for Christmas.  Then I think, Don't you want to be excited for Christmas? It's when we celebrate Christ's birth.  Plus, shouldn't we celebrate His life and birth all the time anyways?  I have to say that Christmas music is so wonderful.

I am so thankful that I got to watch General Conference this weekend.  It was a spiritual uplift that I desperately needed.

To comment on the area, the work, we are really trying hard to find people to teach.  We still have three reliable members that come out with us multiple times a week, but we are doing our best to meet more members and invite them to come with us.

It's almost Christmas!

Go with God,

Sister Turley

Meetings!

Dear Family,

Well, it is officially the start of meeting month.  I decided to buy a bag of jolly ranchers last Monday to help me get through.  Here is the agenda:

September 26 -- Combined Mission Leadership Council

September 27 -- General Women's Meeting

October 1 -- Zone Training

October 4 -- General Conference

October 5 -- General Conference

October 10 -- Zone Conference (and hopefully watching Meet the Mormons)

October 18 -- Stake Conference

October 19 -- Stake Conference

October 31 -- Mission Leadership Council

I don't think I forgot anything, but there is a high probability that I did.  (I forget everything.) 

I threw up this week. . . in the church building.  I felt amazing after it was out of my system.  I did have to wash my clothes in the bathroom sink though.  It was all over me.  Then, I ran down the hall --yes, I ran in the church--to help Sister Judd clean it up.  I was so sad that I messed up the church and that Sister Judd had to clean it up.  So, I tried to help as much as I could.  Then, I knelt to help out and realized I had forgotten to get the mess off of my shoes.  So, I got it on my skirt again.  So, I had to wash up, again.  But, we got it cleared up.  And then we had coordination meeting.  A few days after, we went to the church and could still smell it.  And on Sunday the smell was gone, but the carpet was a little bit lighter in that area.  I ruined the church.  I am quite upset.  I left nastiness in the building.

Other than that, our week was rather uneventful.  I mean, it was Sister Judd's birthday.  Maybe next year will be better.  I feel bad that I was her companion for her birthday.  I am terrible at being a fantastic birthday happy whatever it is that helps someone have a great birthday.  I didn't know what to do. I was going to hang up a sign, but then the people who check our apartments decided to come that day.  So, there wasn't a sign.  And, I am the worst--I didn't get her anything. We went to the first two meetings listed above.  The first was interesting.  I learned a few things that might help our investigator who doesn't believe that Jesus Christ is her Savior.  Then, I learned a lot about covenants and the temple in the Women's Meeting.  We need to be prepared when we enter and make promises to our God.

I hope you are doing well.  I am so thankful to be a missionary, even though I have so much I need to improve on.  I have hope that this week will make me a better missionary.  Diligence: I need to work on this one.  Happy September!

Go with God,

Sister Turley

I think that I don't have a lot to say this week. I hope you are well.

Dear Everyone,

Two words: rough. week.

Sometimes the Lord lets us struggle.  And it's irritating.  We could not come up with back up plans.  We sat for minutes during daily planning just trying to think of people.  And we would go through all of our potential investigators, former investigators, less active members, etc.  We struggled to pick people to see.  And, this was the week for back ups.  Almost all of our appointments decided not to show.  So, we ran out of back ups and had to just think on the spot of where to go.

On the bright side, during studies this week I thought about honesty.  God is the source of all truth.  He will not lie to us.  It is not in His nature to lie.  So, during my studies I just thought about a phrase that is cliche for women, and this was my reply: "I dare you to ask God if that dress makes you look fat."  And now, I probably will be punished for making light of this subject.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

Instant Gratification--I like it when I get it.

Dear Family,

I was pleasantly surprised with an email from Sister Boucher this morning.  She is still in Dunn with Sister Olive, who she trained.  But, I was so thankful for the note that she sent:

"You will never guess who got baptized this weekend :)))

I hope I follow you to Durham. You plant good seeds." 

It followed with a picture of a boy before his baptism.  The boy baptized is Emanuel.  His mom is a less active member that I had the privilege of teaching.  She was actually visit taught by Dorinda, Grandma Hunt's sister-in-law, a few years ago.  I am so thankful that I get to be a gardener.  I don't get much harvest, but I am thankful to hear when others do.

It was great gratification to me to get this email.  I am a little narcissistic--that's why I shared it.

Oh yeah!  I have a new companion.  Sister Doty successfully arrived in Nevada last week.  So, Sister Judd is here in Durham.  We are already making plans for our being split next transfer.  It isn't because we don't like each other.  It just is that we have talked a lot about what we have hoped to have happen on our missions.  Our predictions involve her training in Durham, and I will open South Boston.  She hasn't trained yet, and she has 3 transfers left. And, I really really really want to go to South Boston.  I know I could do the work of the Lord.  I could plant some really good seeds.  But, I will do what the Lord asks of me.  I don't know what the future has in store, but I know it has to work out.

I wanted to share something that I read in my studies this week.

Moses 7:48  And it came to pass that Enoch looked upon the earth; and he heard a voice from the bowels thereof, saying: Wo, wo is me, the mother of men; I am pained, I am weary, because of the wickedness of my children. When shall I rest, and be cleansed from the filthiness which is gone forth out of me? When will my Creator sanctify me, that I may rest, and righteousness for a season abide upon my face?

I found a lot of similarities to myself in this scripture.  The hardest part about being a missionary is seeing all of my weaknesses.  I am tired of making mistakes.  I see the pain that I put people (mostly companions) through, and I hate it.  I know that is a strong word, but I have strong feelings towards this.  When I am discouraged, it is because I have made so many mistakes.  I realize that I need to fix the problems that I have caused between another person and me, and I end up making it worse.  I get tired of being unintelligent and annoying and rude.  I have been like this for 21 years.  That is too long.  I end up crying to my Heavenly Father wondering why I have to have so many faults and weaknesses.  Why do I have to keep making these mistakes?  Why am I so contentious?  As I read this scripture, I thought about the Earth being put into a fallen state because of the fall of Adam.  It is a curse of the earth to have weaknesses.  It is going to take a really long time (in mortal terms) to be free of my weaknesses and, forgive my language, stupidities.  I cannot wait for the day that I finally become like Christ and am perfect.  This is the hardest part about being a missionary.  I constantly see my weaknesses, and I don't have instant gratification for trying to improve.  It is slow and painful.  But, it is necessary.  I will eventually be a better person.  I am really going to love that day.

On a better note, I really am happy.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is changing my life for good.  The Atonement is real and changes my heart.  The Atonement comforts, strengthens, stretches, and perfects us.  It allows us to be people that we would not otherwise be able to be.  It allows us to make positive changes in the world.  It allows miracles to happen according to our faith.  It is the glue that holds our lives together.  I love the Atonement.  And, I love learning about it.  I am so thankful for the Savior.  I love that He loves me.  I love that He loves my family.  I love my family.  I love Jesus Christ.  I love a lot of things, like oreos.  I love to open mail from family that talk about all the miracles that are happening in their life.  I love to hear about what others are learning.  I am so thankful to be a missionary.  I am thankful that I am changing even though I have a really really really hard time seeing it.  I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  "I know who I am.  I know God's plan.  I'll follow Him in faith." (children's song)  I love all of you.  I love North Carolina.  I love planting seeds.  It's dirty work, but allows others to reap.  It blesses the kingdom of God.  And now, that I have said all of this, my closing testimony, I think I can pass away.  Just kidding!  I probably shouldn't put that, but I have a morbid sense of humor.  Let's see who reads all the way and actually gets to this part.  If I were reading this, I would probably just skim and miss it.  This letter is way too long.  I will probably have two sentences next week.  I love you.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

P.S. Sorry it is so long.  I can just rant sometimes.

Weeding (And Still Planting)

Dear Family,

Guess what!  We actually finished weekly planning on Thursday this week.  It was a miracle.  We usually have to spend a few hours on days other than Thursday to finish.  I was so thankful.  That meant that we had more time to tract.  I think that we are going to do more tracting this next transfer.  We got to find some good potentials.  We also got to find people who were not interested and we are weeding out from the area book the potentials who have moved.  Weeding takes some time, but it will sure help other missionaries who come to the area.  It also gives us the opportunity to plant more seeds.  It is all part of this garden/vineyard we are taking care of.

(This is just a picture from last year.  I thought I would share it due to the planting thoughts.)

It has been an interesting week.  It was Sister Doty's last week in North Carolina, so every member that we talked to would ask her about it.  It was quite the experience.  I somewhat memorized her response.  We think it is hilarious when people ask us how long we have been out on our missions.  I will respond that I have been out for 14 months.  Then members will usually say something about me leaving soon.  Then they ask Sister Doty.  She responds, "18 months."  Then the members just are taken aback.  They say, "Oh! You're already gone!"  It is really funny to hear their responses. 

This week I finally had chicken and waffles.  I also had grits.  They were pretty good.

Well, here is to a new transfer.  Let's see what adventures we can find.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

The Atonement is Exciting

Dear Family,

Our ward mission leader has an earring.  Funny and alarming at the same time.  He calls my companion Sister Duty, or Sister Dirt, or Sister . . . well he has a lot of names for her.  My favorite is Duty.  I don't really have a nickname.  Last time he just called me the girl in the green shirt.  That was nice.

Sister Doty and I taught at mission leadership council this week.  That was quite the event.  I thought that would never happen.  One of the sisters in our zone likes to call me Sister Leader Turley.  I don't really like that.  I think I just would like to be called Sister Turley.

We have slugs in our apartment.  We tossed out three this week.  We haven't seen any more since Tuesday evening, so I hope it is over.  Sister Doty makes me pick up all of them.

I read about the Atonement in Mosiah 16 yesterday.  It is really great.  That is the chapter that we will be teaching on Wednesday in our Book of Mormon class.  Lari said in her email that she watched "Because of Him."  I have been thinking that I want to watch that video on Wednesday in class because I love it so much.  I can't even count how many times I have watched it.  The very first day, Easter, Sister Boucher and I found a new investigator by watching it with him.

I don't know what else to write.  Emmettito is in the MTC!  Tres Turley misionarios!

Go with God,

Sister Turley

What Just Happened?!

Dear Family,

All our investigators didn't want to meet with us this week.  Half of them dropped us.  Well, that pretty much sums it up.

Sister Doty also wanted me to tell you that I found the Elder version of myself.  His name is Elder Johnson.  (He's the third Elder Johnson I have served with.) He's in the picture below.  But, here are a few reasons why Sister Doty thinks Elder Johnson and I are alike.  We both answer questions very concisely.  One- to two-word answers.  Also our prayers.  Here are a few examples.

Mine:  "And we're thankful that we got to see Sister Michael.  And Sister Yeates.  And . . . everyone else that Sister Doty already said."  (I was praying at the end of Daily planning and ended up saying what Sister Doty had said at the beginning of planning.)

Elder Johnson's: "And please bless the Sisters that they will know how to help Isabelle progress.  And please help her be baptized . . . if she isn't already baptized."  (We forgot to tell him she was an investigator when he was accounting with us.)

Mostly just the odd realizations in the middle of our prayers are the similarities.

Left to Right: Elder Lewis, Elder Evans, Elder Johnson, Elder Hardy, Sister Turley, Sister Doty, Sister Graff, Sister Seely

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Go with God,

Sister Turley

The Side Effects of Being a Missionary

Dear Family,

There are a lot of things that happen when you are a missionary.  A lot.

First, we get bad tan lines.  Sorry, the picture might be a little disturbing, but I had to share my scary feet with everyone.  The tan gets worse on the weeks without the car.

Second, I got attacked by fire ants.  Hence the little red dots on the right foot.  The picture wouldn't have been as bad if I took the picture at the beginning of the week.  We were riding our bikes on Thursday, and we stopped at a red light.  The light turned green, and as soon as I lifted my foot to pedal, my foot itched.  I looked down and had ants all over my foot up to mid -calf.  So, I pulled to the side, hopped off my bike, pulled my shoes off and started whacking my shoes on the ground.  It was so itchy!

Third, we often draw the plan of salvation.  It is so wonderful to know that there is actually purpose to this life.  I don't know what I would do if I didn't have goals.  Which is number 4: we make goals always.  We always have a plan for what we are doing next.  And, if we don't have a plan, we soon come up with one.  We have direction in our life.  We have something to work towards.

Fifth, we learn the scriptures very well.  We are constantly comparing scriptures to ourselves.  This week was 1 Nephi 16.  In the chapter, Laman and Lemuel and parts of Ishmael's family "humble themselves" four times.  I was getting really annoyed when I was reading it.  I was thinking, you just did that!  But, I thought about many people in my life that do that (including myself).  It is a lot easier to be patient with people when you love them.  I haven't yet developed a love for Laman and Lemuel, but I love so many people out here and at home that humble themselves constantly.  They make mistakes and have to repent frequently.  Love is so important in the work of God.  Love makes the work so much easier; we have so much greater desire to see people progress.  I am so thankful for the wonderful example of my loving Heavenly Father and my family here on this earth.  I love all of you.  Thank you.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

"Be Thou an Example"

Dear Family,

It's one of those short letters again.  We went on exchanges (like most weeks).  And, we still visit people in the hospital.  I didn't lie to a policeman this week.  I didn't speak with anyone in Sign Language either.  We did get to ride our bikes though.  We got a door slammed in our face.  We have a new investigator.  We still have a lot to teach him.  But, he does know now that baptism is essential to enter the Celestial Kingdom.  We hope to teach him a lot more in the coming weeks.  His name is Leroy.

Thank you for all that you do.  Thanks for putting up with my sometimes okay and sometimes not okay emails.  Thank you for hastening the work and finding the will of the Lord.  Thank you for all of your sacrifices.  I love being with you.  I love serving the people of North Carolina.  I love being a daughter of God.  I hope you all have a great week.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

Walking on Water

Dear Family and Friends,

Brother Pipkin was baptized!

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Sadly, I did not get to go, but he was baptized nonetheless.  He is so wonderful.  I think I will tell you the story.  I don' t know if I have already, but here goes.

One sunny afternoon, Sister Boucher and I took a little bike ride to the library.  We saw a man sitting on the bench in front of the library.  We walked into the library to do our Facebook.  During the Facebook time, I thought please let the man be there.  We should have talked to him.    Through God's grace, he was still sitting on the bench when we exited the library.  So, we went up to talk to him.  He told us that he had been laid off of his job and had been searching for three years in the states of South Carolina, Georgia, and North Carolina for a job.  We ended up giving him a Book of Mormon and a mormon.org card with the address to the church and our phone number on it.  He asked if we had a church bus, but we don't.  (We get that question all the time.)

Then, we bade him farewell.  We continued in our missionary duties for the next week and didn't hear anything from him.  Then another half week later, he called.  He asked if the offer was still good for a ride to church.  We exclaimed that yes it was still good.  So, we found him a ride.  It was fast and testimony meeting.  He bore his testimony.  He said that he had read from the beginning of the Book of Mormon to 2 Nephi 2.  Then, we taught him the Restoration after church and invited him to be baptized on June 28.  He accepted and made great progress.  He got baptized on the 12th of July.

That is my miracle story.

Also, this week, I have been studying a little more about Peter walking on the water.

I especially have noted the part where the Savior says, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" (Matthew 14:31)  He just says it so lovingly.  He says it in a way that, to me means " you do have faith. Why do you think that you don't?"  I have really thought of this again as mission leaders once again tell me that if I have enough faith and am an elect missionary, I will have many baptisms.  As missionaries, we walk on water.  We are keeping our sight on the Lord.  Then, we get look around and forget our true purpose (becoming like Christ) and start to sink.  We forget that we do have faith.  We forget that we are walking on water.  Then, we have to turn our sights back to Jesus Christ and cry, "Lord, save me."  (verse 30)

Thank you for all that you do.  I love you.  Keep the faith and know that God is pleased with the faith that you have.  You are walking on water.  Know that you do have faith.  Thanks for all the sacrifices that you make to keep me on a mission.  I am thankful.

Go with God,

Sister Turley

P.S.  Sorry for the novel.  I guess I do have a lot to write sometimes.  It wouldn't seem that way from most of my other letters.

Don't Lie to the Police

Dear Family and Friends,

This week I lied to the police.  He asked if we had been at the church building on Thursday, and I told him that we hadn't.  Then some more questions were asked (also to other people) and we ended up being locked up for a few days until the ward mission leader came to bail us out.  I felt bad for my companion, but then we had a few people to talk to in those fine cells.  We passed out a few mormon.org cards and read 1 Nephi 1-20 with Jared (the policeman who worked at the front desk).  He said he would come to church on Sunday, but he didn't.  I think he will come next week. 

That was the fun of the week.  We also set a baptismal date with Sister Kaye.  She is the nonmember wife of an in active member.  And, we have been teaching her in the hospital.  She has been doing well with reading the Book of Mormon. 

We rode our bikes in the flash flood.  A car splashed us, but it didn't do anything because we were already soaked.  I think I got trench foot.  Seriously, my feet felt tingly and had small rashes on them for the next two days.  Then, I put lotion on them.  Aah!  I know, I know, it is hard to believe that I used lotion.

We had two investigators come to church.  They are great.

Real Story

On Friday, we got to the church and saw that two windows were bashed in.  So, we called the building person (our first counselor in the Bishopric).  He came by and so did the building maintenance man (who just happens to be our ward mission leader).  They called the police, and Sister Doty and I were still waiting there for a member to come pick us up.  So, we were still there when the policeman came.  He asked us if we had been at the church building on Thursday, and I told him that we hadn't.  I had forgotten that we had done Facebook at the church on Thursday morning.  It wasn't a plan that we had, but it was something that we ended up doing.  So, Sister Doty had to tell the policeman that we had.  Then, I racked my brain to try to remember, and I did.  The policeman asked some questions to the other people at the building, and nothing came of my lying to the policeman.  Sister Doty has been joking about it though.  I honestly forgot.  I need a new memory.  

I hope all are doing well.  I love serving the people of North Carolina.  I love being able to see the gospel improve people's lives.  God really does have a plan for us.  Sometimes, I just want to ask what I am supposed to be learning from these things.  Something that is really causing me to grow is being a Sister Leader.  This transfer has been a really trying Sister Leader transfer.  Sister Doty reminds me of what to do before every exchange, but I always forget.  So then I feel bad that I didn't do it.  And, I have to account to President Bernhisel and with the sister I went on exchange with.  I have had to really try hard not to beat myself up for forgetting.  I don't do sister leadering well, so I really have had to just let things go.  I want to cry a lot because I know there are sisters who would do so much better than me.  I want to know why God wants me to do it.  He certainly didn't pick the best.  But, weaknesses make us strong.  Ether 12:27.  If . . . we humble ourselves.  Time to work on pride.  I am going to beat it up.  Don't beat yourselves up either.  We do not all have the same talents.  Don't compare yourself to others.  I know, I sound hypocritical.  This is what I have been working on my whole life.  Missions tend to take a magnifying glass up to weaknesses.  We see them a lot better.  I am not going to beat myself up this week.  And if I do, I give you permission to eat 3 gallons of ice cream.  I will give you the results next Monday.

Thanks!

Go with God,

Sister Turley

Things happen. Do I remember? No.

Dear Family and Friends,

This week went by so fast.  I don't know what happened.  It just disappeared.  Probably because we had the car this week.  But, we get to start riding our bikes again this week.  We switch every other week from car to bike and vice versa. 

I asked my companion what happened this week, and her reply was, " I don't know."

Oh! Exciting.  We did get to go to the temple on Saturday.  One of Sister Doty's recent converts got endowed.  Funny thing, I saw the Hessons there.  They were in the Boulder Creek ward.  Their son was getting married that day.  So, that was really neat.  I also met Arthur Peterson.  He was the officiator for the session.  (I think that is what it would be called.)  He is from Joseph City, so I got to tell him who my family is up there.

I don't know what else.  I get to proselyte and try to find people to teach.  Brother Pipkin might have been baptized in Dunn on Saturday.  I still don't know though.  I hope he did.  It would be nice if someone I found got baptized.  But, it is sad to get transferred and not know what is going on.  

I guess I am still a planter.  Planting the seeds.  But, Heavenly Father has given me infinite seeds.  I need to find more people to plant them with.  This will be a finding week.

Thanks for all you do.

Go with God,

Sister Camille Turley