Cami: Tchaikovsky is one of the greatest composers ever.
Douglas: Oh yeah, I've heard of that guy.
Cami: What vegetables do we have?
Makenna: Chicken!
Griffin: That's beef.
After getting tickets to the TabCATS Christmas concert
Griffin: I feel so accomplished.
Lari: I have two dresses. One is unflattering. And the other is flattering, but it's tight. So, uh, I guess they're both unflattering.
Dad: Who wants a fig tree?
Cami: No one. No one wants a fig tree, Dad.
Doug: Yeah, they went on a snape hunt.
Cami: Snipe.
Dad laughing: Yeah, they all dressed up as Harry Potter characters and went out looking.
Talking about tooting in public
Griffin: Cherise is worse than me now.
Kenna: That's because she's pregnant.
Cami: No, it's because she's married to Jensen.
Kenna: So, it's like when Fiona married Shrek and stayed an ogre.
Cami: Yep.
Cami: I think I know what drove the last boy away. I said I like sad movies and that I listen to Christmas music.
Griffin: Yeah, probably.
Cami: Now that it's November, I would say it's time to listen to Thanksgiving music, but I don't want to listen to three songs over and over again for a month.
Griffin: Hey Stinky!
Cami: Why are you talking to yourself?
Griffin: You have a tag hanging off your dress.
Cami: You can cut it if you want.
Griffin comes back with a pocket knife
Cami: Seriously?
Griffin (cutting the tag): It was the only thing I could find.
Cami: There's a pair of scissors on top of the dresser.
Cami: You know how people pray for patience and then different circumstances or people come into their lives? I'm a person that comes into people's lives after they pray for patience.
Arlene: Who am I kidding? I only play games with you guys. I don't know why I'm pretending I have friends.
Kenna: Why do all British people look the same?
Cami: Racist! So, you're saying that Simon Cowell looks just like all the One Directions boys?
Griffin: And that Tom Holland looks like...uh...like...
Cami: Benedict Cumberbatch?
Griffin: Yeah.
Cami: And looks like Alex Boye?
Kenna: Yep.
After talking about all the sweets my dad can't eat
Cami: I'm gonna make a store called Diabeetus Cakes. And there will be other sweets in there too. It's gonna be spelled D-I-A-B-E-E-T-U-S.
Dad sarcastically: Sounds so appetizing.
Makenna: This is my favorite picture of him.
Griffin: Because it's blurry?
Griffin: How do you stay in the lines?
After I put a goldfish in Doug's seat
Doug: Whose goldfish is this?
Cami: It's a snack for your ride home.
Griffin: It's the snack that smiles back. It's the snack that goes up your crack.
Cami: What?!
Griffin: 'Cause he's gonna sit on it.
About mochi
Emmett: It's my two favorite things--ice cream and fruit snacks.
Sarah: I went to go see Ant-Man and the Wasp on Pioneer Day.
Doug: On purpose?!
Everyone else: What?
Sarah: Yes?
Makenna: Cami, are you ever going to work?
Emmett: She's been back for hours.
Cami: I went at 6 am and got back at 3.
Makenna: But you didn't change your clothes?
Emmett: Yeah, she lazy like the rest of us.
Cami: What is this in the phone case?
Darren: UPS dust.
Cami: Ew.
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