In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Throughout my university experience, I have worried a lot about funding.  In response, some of my peers have told me to ask my parents for help.  However, I have been taught to be independent by parents and by church leaders.  My family members know that I can be too independent for my own good sometimes. I also have four other siblings that have been or will be at university at the same time as me.  And, I have been taught the value of hard work.

I have worked to help me pay for school.  I have stuck with jobs that weren't much fun because they paid better than other campus jobs.  (This means that I cleaned toilets.  You'll have to ask me about some of the fun things I have found.  Like wiping up beards.)  As I have worked, I have made just enough to pay rent and for groceries and for new pants because my brother didn't like that I was going to school with quadruple patched pants that were once again tearing.

I wish I had this many quarters.  Then I could do my laundry.

Because of my worry, and because it is a smart thing to do, I have kept track of my money and have projected my expenses and income.  I have used my beloved spreadsheet to easily change estimates on my projection. Every time I calculate, I find that I don't have the funds to continue for the next semester/year.  And so, I constantly worry about school the next year, sometimes just the next semester.

After these morbid projections, I become frantic and look for more ways to fund my schooling.  I make plans to get a second job: I start searching and reshaping my resume.  I apply to jobs.  I apply to more scholarships.  I think about getting loans but am always afraid.  (I have a consistent fear that I won't be able to pay them off.)  Also, last month, Elder Hales talked about not obtaining debt.

Today, I looked at my bank accounts again to make sure I had enough money for groceries this week. My millisecond look at the numbers sent me into shock.  My bank account had a 1 in the thousands place!  My first thought was, "What the heck is my family doing? They are not supposed to put that there."

So, I loaded the summary to find a refund from BYU.  I didn't believe it.  I knew that something was wrong.  I hadn't paid for anything recently.  Tuition was due a whole semester ago, and I hadn't dropped any classes.  I remembered that I had received a message from BYU.  So, I went to my account to read the message that I hadn't opened because it wasn't one of my five group projects.  This is what I found:

I almost cried.  And if you know me well, I don't cry.  Even when I look like I am about to cry, I don't cry.  A few weeks ago, I had projected, on my beloved spreadsheet, that after tuition and January's rent next year, I will have $11 in the bank.  The timing of this message was impeccable.  My belief throughout university is that if God wants me to continue to school, and if I work hard to pay for it, God will make up the difference.  He will help me get the funds that I need.  This has only been one of hundreds of times that this principle has been true in my life.

In these moments that I have realized that I cannot come back to school, I have always received help.  I have received cards in the mail from a grandparent with some cash.  I have looked at my bank accounts to find a little extra money from my dad or grandparents.  During Christmas breaks and summer breaks at home, I have gone through my stuff and have found cash from past birthdays or Christmases.  (Being at home also means I don't have to pay for rent or groceries.)  Aunts have sent packages of food.  My sister and I realized we could trade books, or that I could use her old books.

I thoroughly believe that God has a plan for me, and going to school is part of that plan.  He has provided means.  I am thankful for His help.  I am thankful for the family that He has given to me to help me.  I hope that I can be as much help to them as they are to me.  I am thankful for the moral support that my family gives to me.  I am sad that I have to be so far from all of them, but school is almost done.  I can come closer soon.  I am thankful for school.  I am thankful that my mind has the capacity to learn.  I am thankful for family.  Still.  I am still thankful for my family.  Four sentences later, and I am still thankful for my family.  I love all of you.  Have a wonderful December.  It starts tomorrow.