"Have Courage and Be Kind" -- Cinderella's Mother

I have always loved fairy tales.  Every time I was at my grandma's home, I would find her giant book of fairy tales.  Some of these tales were a little different from the tales shown in Disney films.  I loved the story of the little mermaid who turned into sea foam because the man of her dreams did not marry her.  I loved the story of Rapunzel, where the man falls into thorn bushes and is blinded by the thorns.  And then Rapunzel heals his eyes with her tears.  I also enjoyed reading Cinderella; however, I always imagined that I was just another ugly stepsister.

In the tales of Cinderella, no one can fit into the shoe that Cinderella wears to the ball.  Many of the tales explain that Cinderella's feet were small.  And it even says that the stepsisters had large feet.  The ugly stepsisters have even been known to cut off their toes or their heels to try and fit into the glass slippers.  I truly felt I was an ugly stepsister because I had large feet.  I started wearing men's shoes in 3rd or 4th grade because men's shoes just fit so much better.  I have even gotten comments from people imagining how much of a difference it would make if I also chopped off my toes.  For other musings on this subject, I suggest Shoe Shopping and Bigfoot's Sister.

For some reason, many of the versions of Cinderella made it seem as though if you had big feet and weren't talented at singing or playing an instrument, you were ugly, annoying, and evil.  So, I often just believed I was along the lines of the ugly stepsister.  I was 7-11 years old as I was thinking these unfortunate thoughts.  I think it's just a developmentally not cognizant of lots of other things going on around me situation. As I grew up, I've humorously said that I am the ugly stepsister.  One would think that gaining a stepmother of my own, I would suddenly transform into the Cinderella, but that is not the case.  My big feet will never allow me to truly become a Cinderella.  I did read a book titled "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister" and actually quite enjoyed it.

Just a picture I thought was "ugly stepsister" worthy.

One of my favorite renditions of Cinderella has been Disney's 2015 live-action movie. The shoe is merely enchanted to never fit on anyone besides Cinderella.  And the great theme of the movie is "Have courage and be kind."  Having courage and being kind is not easy.  As a stepsister, I have had many moments where I wasn't courageous or kind. I have been quite "ugly" in my behavior.  And I have been rebuked for that.  Even in the movie, there is a time where Cinderella says that she can no longer have courage and be kind.  Cinderella almost becomes an ugly stepsister.  Of course, because it is a fairy tale, Cinderella cannot actually no longer be Cinderella; she must keep her resolve and face the sorrow.

Having courage and being kind gives hope to the once-thought ugly stepsister.  I have loved that in many versions of the tale, at least one stepsister has courage and steps away from the tormenting of her mother and sister.  She has been known even to help Cinderella in some cases.  Sometimes the stepsister can become a Cinderella.  She can find her own story and change.  She becomes just a stepsister; she's ugly no longer.  And that is the hope of the ugly stepsister: perhaps we can become less ugly.  Perhaps we can even be the Cinderella.  It's difficult, and we can have courage and be kind.  So, here's to magical transformations and believing in ourselves and maybe even the help of an unexpected "fairy godmother."

"Have courage, and be kind,"  --Cinderella's Mom