How to be Extremely Plain

1. Don't Improve Your Talents
On Sunday, while at work, one of the boys asked me what one fact was the most important for people to know.  I told him that I was mean.  Then he told me that it had to be positive.  He dived into an interrogation that left me remembering that I am just some boring, little life form that has somehow existed for the last 20-something years.  He asked me if I was athletic.  Nope, not that. He asked me if I was smart.  Not that either.  He asked me if I was musical.  Well, kind of, but if you think about the musical capacities of all the people in the world, I would be pretty low on the musical talent.

2. Don't Go Anywhere
Pretend you are going to go somewhere and then don't.  Want to know how many travel plans that I have made and never actually gone anywhere?  Lots.  All the time.  In fact, that's pretty much what I did all of yesterday and today.  Just stay stuck in a little, old college town that drives you crazy.  That's a real good way to stay plain.

Notice the gold stars.  I was gonna go on a trip, and it never happened.  (Actually, I have been to Vegas quite a bit.  Call me a sinner, but I love them card games.  The card games like "Uno" that I played with my cousins when they lived there.)


3. Just be Plain-looking
All my siblings tell me to wear makeup, so I can get married someday.  I gave up a long time ago.  I think I gave up before I ever started going on dates.  Apparently people have to be attractive to be married, so I gave up.  Now before you start telling me, "Cami, how can you think that?  You are attractive" or "Cami, you are so cute," just understand that I am more likely to agree with all the people saying, "With that attitude, you aren't going to get married."  Also, something you should know is that I don't think I am pretty, but I don't think I'm ugly either.  I am merely plain.  There is nothing about my appearance that says, "Woah."  I look like a human.  Wonderful.  I don't make any of the other girls envious, so they feel comfortable talking to me.  I don't make the boys nervous, so they feel comfortable talking to me.  So, really it is kind of nice to look plain.

4. Deny Anything You Do that Could Seem Interesting
It's actually quite easy.  Just say no whenever anyone asks you if you do anything?  Another phrase I use to answer questions is, "It doesn't matter." Now this could have a few different results.  People could become intrigued that you won't tell them anything and think you are cooler than you actually are.  People can also just realize that you have nothing of importance to share and move on.

So, I hope this was helpful.  More likely than not, it wasn't.  My instructions are vague and uninteresting, so good luck with trying to be plain.  Hope it works out for ya.