In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Throughout my university experience, I have worried a lot about funding.  In response, some of my peers have told me to ask my parents for help.  However, I have been taught to be independent by parents and by church leaders.  My family members know that I can be too independent for my own good sometimes. I also have four other siblings that have been or will be at university at the same time as me.  And, I have been taught the value of hard work.

I have worked to help me pay for school.  I have stuck with jobs that weren't much fun because they paid better than other campus jobs.  (This means that I cleaned toilets.  You'll have to ask me about some of the fun things I have found.  Like wiping up beards.)  As I have worked, I have made just enough to pay rent and for groceries and for new pants because my brother didn't like that I was going to school with quadruple patched pants that were once again tearing.

I wish I had this many quarters.  Then I could do my laundry.

Because of my worry, and because it is a smart thing to do, I have kept track of my money and have projected my expenses and income.  I have used my beloved spreadsheet to easily change estimates on my projection. Every time I calculate, I find that I don't have the funds to continue for the next semester/year.  And so, I constantly worry about school the next year, sometimes just the next semester.

After these morbid projections, I become frantic and look for more ways to fund my schooling.  I make plans to get a second job: I start searching and reshaping my resume.  I apply to jobs.  I apply to more scholarships.  I think about getting loans but am always afraid.  (I have a consistent fear that I won't be able to pay them off.)  Also, last month, Elder Hales talked about not obtaining debt.

Today, I looked at my bank accounts again to make sure I had enough money for groceries this week. My millisecond look at the numbers sent me into shock.  My bank account had a 1 in the thousands place!  My first thought was, "What the heck is my family doing? They are not supposed to put that there."

So, I loaded the summary to find a refund from BYU.  I didn't believe it.  I knew that something was wrong.  I hadn't paid for anything recently.  Tuition was due a whole semester ago, and I hadn't dropped any classes.  I remembered that I had received a message from BYU.  So, I went to my account to read the message that I hadn't opened because it wasn't one of my five group projects.  This is what I found:

I almost cried.  And if you know me well, I don't cry.  Even when I look like I am about to cry, I don't cry.  A few weeks ago, I had projected, on my beloved spreadsheet, that after tuition and January's rent next year, I will have $11 in the bank.  The timing of this message was impeccable.  My belief throughout university is that if God wants me to continue to school, and if I work hard to pay for it, God will make up the difference.  He will help me get the funds that I need.  This has only been one of hundreds of times that this principle has been true in my life.

In these moments that I have realized that I cannot come back to school, I have always received help.  I have received cards in the mail from a grandparent with some cash.  I have looked at my bank accounts to find a little extra money from my dad or grandparents.  During Christmas breaks and summer breaks at home, I have gone through my stuff and have found cash from past birthdays or Christmases.  (Being at home also means I don't have to pay for rent or groceries.)  Aunts have sent packages of food.  My sister and I realized we could trade books, or that I could use her old books.

I thoroughly believe that God has a plan for me, and going to school is part of that plan.  He has provided means.  I am thankful for His help.  I am thankful for the family that He has given to me to help me.  I hope that I can be as much help to them as they are to me.  I am thankful for the moral support that my family gives to me.  I am sad that I have to be so far from all of them, but school is almost done.  I can come closer soon.  I am thankful for school.  I am thankful that my mind has the capacity to learn.  I am thankful for family.  Still.  I am still thankful for my family.  Four sentences later, and I am still thankful for my family.  I love all of you.  Have a wonderful December.  It starts tomorrow.

We Choose Each Day

On a run that I took this week, I listened to a General Conference talk by Kevin W. Pearson.  The talk was given in April this year.  He had two really great quotes that I wanted to share.

Quote 1

The first quote reminded me of a conversation that I had with my sister.  She expressed her displeasure of Mormons not being accepting of people.  The quote helped me understand why we don't accept the values of some groups or individuals and sometimes even stay away from those same people.  We should never stop trying to share the truth, but we should also be cautious of what we are taking in.  Elder Pearson said,

"Heeding those who do not believe in Christ will not help you find Him."

Quote 2

I just like that this quote is a reminder as to the constant need to work hard.  It always make a very lofty goal seem a little more attainable.

"Our daily discipleship will determine our eternal destiny."