Lately I have been pondering about the talk by Elder McKay that was shared in April this year. He talks about the immediate goodness that comes to those who trust God as they wait for promised blessings that are coming "soon." He says, 'When the Lord or His servants say things like, "Not many days hence" or "The time is not far distant," it can literally mean a lifetime or longer." As I listened to the whole conference, I heard a very common theme of blessings that are promised coming sooner, later, or in the life to come. And more often that not, these blessings are in the later and in the life to come categories. With all this said, I have really thought during the last few weeks about God's immediate goodness.
As whoever reads my blog knows, it has been a weird year. I moved out of Utah at the beginning of September. And what my life has boiled down to in the last year is a struggle to find a job for seven months, living in a different country for three months, and struggling to initiate conversation with new people and make friends.
I have a lot of thoughts in my head, but mostly I want to say this. With all the rough stuff that has happened this year, and my inadequacies that I pray for God to magically disappear, I am able to see the immediate goodness for the entire year. Because I have made decisions that I pretend people think are bad or stupid, I have seen God's immediate goodness.
- I have been able to go with my brother and my cousin to do baptisms at the temple.
- I have been able to help take care of my sister and her baby for three months. And I was taken care of there too.
- I have good times with my imaginary friends. (Mostly they are memories of faraway friends, but I am coming up with better lines I could have said during some of our conversations.)
- I get to spend time with my family.
- I learn to trust God always.
- I feel empowered, which is so weird because there are so many things in my life right now that make me feel weak, stupid, inadequate, or trapped. I feel empowered nonetheless.
- And I am at peace with who I am right now. God gave me weaknesses. My weaknesses make me what God needs me to be at this moment. This doesn't mean He's not expecting me to change, for surely He expects me to overcome those weaknesses. But because He has promised blessings to me, I am at peace that weaknesses currently preventing me from obtaining those blessings are also part of His timing.
God has not forsaken you even though He hasn't given you a promised blessing. Maybe that blessing isn't meant to come for a while. And if that's the case, there is so much that God is giving you. From experience, I know it is hard to open my eyes to the things that are good while I am going through things that I think aren't good. But God's will is ultimately good no matter what is happening or not happening in your life. The question is, "Do you have the faith to receive God's will and His immediate goodness?"
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