'Cause I'm graduating! Even so, I am glad that I am done with BYU. I am glad to leave. And for this gladness, I have a not so great reason and a kind of awesome reason. I'll start with the not so great, so you can skip it if you want.
NOT SO GREAT
I have a problem with BYU/Provo Culture. It goes a little something like this: You better date and get married or you're dumb. People expect to find their "soul mates" at BYU. And they expect it of everyone else at BYU. If you didn't come to BYU to find a spouse, then why are you here? Every conversation includes marriage as a topic--it's inevitable.
I once was in a group of about eight girls. All were married, engaged, or about to be engaged except for me. One girl decided that each girl should tell her love story to the group. I was hoping that my invisibility skills would kick in, but nonetheless I was seen and asked to inform the group of my beautiful tale of romance. I simply stated, "I'm single." And the group just stared at me as if I was broken. Their sad faces were just that--sad. I had broken their fragile hearts with my sad tale of woe. I had added a drop of depression to their pleasant, pretend perfect day. I ruined it. I ruined their happiness. And I think they thought I had also ruined mine.
This is why I hate BYU culture. Just because I am single doesn't mean that I am unhappy or worth any less. Just because I didn't get married while at BYU doesn't mean that I didn't fulfill my purpose there. My life is more than just finding a man. Yes, it is pleasing to God when people get married. Yes, I am pretty sure God wants all of His children to have lasting and loving marriages, but I can still improve my life while I am unmarried. I can still become a better person. And when I do finally meet that person and decide that I'm okay with dating, I will be better prepared. Yeah, I'll still be imperfect and make tons of mistakes, but I will have learned a lot of things. And guess what! I am pretty sure that I have learned and experienced more than a handful of married BYU students. I have changed lives, including my own, in ways that some of them have not. So, why should I be sad about that?
To the people who have bet against my ability to make it through BYU without getting married: taste the awful bitterness of defeat. Yeah, it may be a little harsh, but this is my life, not yours. And I'm still imperfect and have much work to do in the kindness area.
KIND OF AWESOME
In the last three years, I have come to understand the meaning of "Enter to Learn--Go Forth to Serve." We aren't meant to stay in school forever. We aren't meant to get an education just to soak it all in and never use it.
Because of my major, I have been shown a path that lots of people don't even know about. I have been given opportunity to explore the world of Residential Treatment Centers (RTC). As a staff in a few RTCs, I have been counted as a guardian for more than 50 kids. Their safety has been in my hands, and it has been my responsibility to teach them and love them. I have used the knowledge of mental illness and human development to fulfill these responsibilities.
Because I have come to BYU, I have seen the light in roommates' eyes grow. I have been there to share my thoughts and my testimony. I have used my knowledge of the gospel to give aid to roommates who were seeking help.
And now I am ready to go. I am ready to keep serving and finding people wherever I may go that need some of the learning that I have gained from BYU. That's really the purpose of higher education: serving in higher capacities. Because I know more, I can help more. I'm done with BYU and being in this bubble. It's kind of like this meme I saw a few years ago.
I'm ready to spread out and stop stinking.
JUST SOMETHING INTERESTING
If you want to see how college went for me, here are some pictures.
First Semester:
Next to Last Semester:
No comments:
Post a Comment