The Dreadful Month of May

May is an interesting month.  It brings Mothers' Day, which we celebrate this weekend.  It also brings the anniversary of my mother's death and a few other important life events in my mom's and her family's lives.  My life has had lots of changes since the May that my mom died.  My family has experienced a lot of changes because of that one May.

Because of that one May, I had a brief experience acting as mother.  And let me tell you, it was hard.  I failed miserably (which is a reason I am afraid to get married and have kids).  I was mean, my siblings didn't listen to me, and I forgot a lot of things.  

Because of that one May, I gained more experience listening and observing.  I watched family members and mentally noted how each reacted.  I found patterns, and I listened to conversations about the patterns that others had found.

Because of that one May, I eventually gained a step family.  I have learned a lot from them.  They have had to deal with my nonsense and bitterness.  We all have had to learn how to adapt and love unconditionally.

Because of that one May, my support group was solidified.  I had many aunts, uncles, and grandparents come to my aid and to the aid of my siblings.  They provided meals for my family.  They helped us go clothes shopping.  They listened to us and tried to teach us life lessons.  (Sorry if you felt I wasn't listening.)

Because of that one May, I learned to turn to God always.  Because people aren't permanent and sometimes don't care, I detached myself from others.  (FYI, that's another reason I am afraid to get married.)  The exception is that I know God is there.  He listens to me and laughs with me when I say stupid stuff in my prayers.  I know that I can receive answers from Him.

Altogether, I don't think that you have to be a biological mom to be the needed help of a child, and you don't always have to be sad about losing a parent.  That might sound completely awful, but losing my mom has forced me to learn new skills (mainly interpersonal).  I may still be a bitter young adult, but I am learning.  I am gaining new skills and attitudes, hopefully for the better.

I probably haven't said thank you enough, so this is an attempt.  Thanks to my dad for being strong.  He lost his wife and dealt with five weird kids.  We were ungrateful and annoying.  Though it's Mothers' Day, my greatest thanks goes to my dad.  Thanks for trying to rebuild a relationship with me.  Thanks to my stepmom, for also putting up with the five weird kids.  Thanks for also putting up with my weird dad.  Thanks to all of my aunts and uncles.  Every one of you has helped tremendously.  Because of you, I have been able to see life in different perspectives.  Thank you to my siblings for not punching me more than once.

And just to end things on an awkward note, a little riddle/joke/verse about May:

April showers,
bring May flowers,
for the brides in June.

What else are May flowers for?

Pilgrims!