Since General Conference at the beginning of April, the topic of miracles has been ever present around me. President Nelson's talk about Spiritual Momentum suggested seeking and expecting miracles. I've heard several examples of people asking for miracles, or just something they really want, and then God giving it to them the next day or within a few hours even. And I've struggled with that because I feel like that's not how God works in my life. I feel like God's answers to my prayers are "no" or "not yet."
This is what I have learned in my struggle this month though. God works miracles in my life. They are not the same as other people's miracles, but that does not necessarily make them less than others' miracles. I also realized that sometimes I don't notice the miracles because they are just naturally part of things that I am doing or aren't 100% what I am asking for. I try to bargain with God and "sweeten the deal" when really there is no deal; God is giving me something, and I should be grateful.
I have been trying to make a few decisions for changes that are happening in the near future. About a month ago, I felt good about an option. After I felt good about that option, I got new information. I didn't feel as sure about that option as I did before. So I continued my research, pondering, and prayers. After a long struggle and other options falling away (really good options, I might say, even ones where I thought, "This is perfect!"), I had a wrestle prayer with God. I have a lot of wrestle prayers with God. I also wrote about my struggle in my journal. In the end, I realized that the original option was still an option. And it still works with the new information that I received. So, my struggle was purely from looking beyond the mark. I still have yet to act on this option because there are a few other factors that need to be taken care of, and maybe this option will also fall away. Hopefully not. But sometimes I miss the miracles because they don't seem as "perfect" as other people's. My stories don't follow the same pattern of I prayed and I got what I wanted. My path to seeing miracles is a little bit messier. Partially due to my own stubbornness.
The other thing that I have realized in the past month is that God moves mountains, and He also requires people to climb mountains. Some people's lives are filled with the faith to move mountains. And some people are asked to have faith to climb the mountains. Whichever is asked of us, we still have faith. Just because God asks me to climb more often than He asks me to move mountains does not mean my faith is less than those who move more than climb. Those who climb more might develop some really nice calves though.
Climbing also allows us to see where we have come from. We can gain a clearer picture of what is happening and what is going on around us. Here are a few pictures of views I have had from climbing. They aren't the best pictures, but I've seen lots of things because I have been willing to go to greater heights.
