Keep Moving Forward

I want to say that life is so interesting.  And it's an adventure.  There are a ton of times when I think that I have nothing to show for how long I have lived on this earth.  I think that I should already have my career and have something stable in my life.  And I just don't.  My life has taken so many turns in the last two years, that I just feel like I have nothing.  And the thing about life is that I'm gonna be reading my journals 20 years from now, or maybe even 5 years from now, and I'll think about how all this fretting and worrying and believing I have nothing was worthless.  I will have gone through these struggles and realized that God was there the entire time and made me do these things that are scary because He knows that I need to be tougher.  He knows that I need to grow up and actually become what He wants me to become.  And 5-20 years from now when I'm reading my journal, I will be cracking up about all the little things that I was worried about.  (And because I'm funny.  My journals are hilarious.  But that's besides the point.  My sister can vouch for my weird journal entries though.)

God is mindful of you because you are His child.  He has called you to do a great work because He believes in you.  I loved a thought that was shared in a fireside tonight by Elder Alliaud, that we feel inadequate because we are.  And God calls us to go through things even though we have inadequacies and sometimes because of our specific inadequacies.  And I think that is truth.  God knows our weaknesses, and He intends to use them for our good.

God has a plan for you, and it's different from your own plan.  'Cause guess what: this girl from 2009 thought she was going to graduate with an undergraduate degree and then be a math or science teacher for the rest of her life.

And this girl in 2019 was working on a Master's degree in Parks and Recreation Management.  And she had taught kids how to ski, snowboard, and rappel, which is something that girl from 2009 didn't even know how to do.

And in 2029, I'll have done who knows what, but maybe I will finally look like an adult.

I can tell you one thing that has been consistent all my life.  God has always been there and has always been willing to hear and answer my prayers.  His answers have often not been ones that I wanted and often delayed, so I can learn something.  And I hate it.  I've always had an interesting relationship with God, but I have learned more about Him and myself by finding where He wants me to go.  I haven't found that God has ever turned me away when I have sought Him.  And He has never told me I'm not allowed to find peace, even on the days when peace is hard to find.  God's there.  Talk to Him.  He wants to hear from you.

End the Stigma

I love these end the stigma quotes, memes, and videos.  Because they say to treat mental illness like physical illness.  And they say that seeing a therapist or counselor should be just as normal as seeing a doctor.  And let me tell ya, you should see a therapist.  You should see a counselor.  Those aren't bad things.

But I'm also over here thinking, I haven't been to a doctor for 7 years.  When I get hurt or sick, and my friends tell me I'm gonna die, I just say, "I'll walk it off."

So here's to walking it off.  We all heal in different ways.