Quotes of the Year

Emmett: What if I got married this year?
Cami: That would take a miracle.
Emmett: (slightly offended gasp)
Cami: What if I got married this year?
Emmett: THAT would take a miracle.
Cami: Yep, it will take a miracle for me to get married at all.


Cami talking about a trip that would be a year long starting in July.
Cami:  But what if I meet someone in the next 6 months and we want to get married?  Actually, that'll never happen.
Emmett sings: Miracles happen once in a while.


Cami: I talk to too many people.
Liz: Why?
Cami: People start getting ideas that I'm friendly.


Liz heard me start brushing my teeth but didn't realize who it was.
Liz: Bethany, you already brushed your teeth tonight.
Cami: Despite what you may believe, I do brush my teeth sometimes.


Emmett buying a plane ticket to go to Ian's wedding: "I was like who needs money anyways and pressed confirm."


Cami: I'm single and ready to eat a Pringle.


Cami: On February 14th, while everybody is celebrating ucky yucky stuff, I'll be celebrating Arizona's birthday.
Liz: Can you say that again?
Cami: While everybody is celebrating ucky yucky stuff, I'll be celebrating Arizona's birthday.
Liz: And how old are we?


Cami: Someday I will have nothing, and it will be the best day of my life.


Cami: Sometimes my desire to make people feel uncomfortable exceeds my ability to be socially acceptable.


Emmett: I only buy syrup if it's in the shape of old ladies.


One of the roommates saw a mouse in the apartment:

Student E: What's your favorite color of the alphabet?

Student K: Seven!

Cherise: We're going to help you get better clothes.

Cami: Yeah, looking at the outfits I pick every week, I think in my subconscious I like looking homeless on weekends.

Zac: I like your skirt.

Cami: I don't.

Zac: It's cute.

Cami: I don't like things that are cute.

Zac: You better take care; someone might try to ask you out.

Cami: They already tried that.

Chuck: You didn't happen to see how many calories they had?

Cami: No, I don't count calories.

Chuck: Then what do you do?

Cami: I eat them.

When my visiting teachers were coming over:

In a game, Student A had one life left and was asking other students to give him life.

Cami: Just die.

Student E: You're a staff. You're not supposed to say things like that.

Cami: It's a game.

Student E: Life is a game.

Cami: Life is a game.

Student E: It's a dumb game.

Cami: It's a game where you can get too many babies and push them out of the car.

Student E: How did you ever get to be staff here?

Cami: I don't know.

Liz: What are you looking at?

Cami: Volcano surfing

Cami: Someday, some awesome man will sweep me off my feet, and I'll be like, "Don't touch me."

Conversation about me moving

Anna: I need six dogs and a sassy gay friend.

Cami: Is that what it takes to replace me?

Caitlin: That's a giant mum.

Cami (in a badly mimicked English accent): I don't have a mum.

Taio Cruz: I'm wearing all my favorite brands.

Cami: Do I even have favorite brands? . . . Of cereal, yes.

Kolby trying to make a joke: Why did the four beatles cross the road?

Cami: To make an album cover.

Cami: Do you need some watermelon earrings?

Cherise: No.  Do you need watermelon earrings?

Cami: No one needs watermelon earrings.

Cherise: A truer thing has never been said.

Cami: Boys with motorcycles are wasted on girls who are afraid.

Cami: It smells like sweet.

Emmett: Yeah, I like it.

Cami: It smells like I inhaled sugar into my lungs and it burned.

Carson: We have the strangest relationship.  I think you are so funny, but at the same time, I am terrified of you.

Zac: I've been trying to figure out what to get for my mom for Christmas. 

Cami: I just don't get my mom anything.

Zac: Freaking Cami

Cami: I can't resist the temptation any longer.

Livia: Before you know it, you'll be smoking.

(Conversation about my needing to use the restroom)

About Jimmy John's

Cherise: It sounds like a large, sweaty man.

Emmett: It sounds like someone pooped in their overalls.

Cami: Get up.  You can take a nap after the race.

Griffin: No, chicken nuggets are food.

Griffin making the cat have squinty eyes: Now it's an Asian cat.

Cami: It's a Siamese cat; it's already an Asian cat.

Conversation about dating people in the same ward as you.

Cami: People say that they don't want to pee in the pool.  I think I should pee in the pool a lot more.

Livia: Do it.  The pool needs your pee.

After having new blinds for a week

Elise: Who already broke the blinds?

Cami: Uhh, that was me.

Johanna: Why is there tape in our tree?

Cami: It's an ornament.

Johanna: Who put the cockroach on the door?

Silence

Johanna: It was you Cami, wasn't it?

Cami: Maybe

Cami: And she gave him a package of oreos.

Emmett: Which is good because my love language is oreos.

Cami: Sometimes I look at myself and say, "I look okay."

Livia: Sometimes our brains play tricks on us.

Cami: I just got called sir at the grocery store.  And today was a day I actually thought I looked like a girl.