Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Random Thoughts from 2016

Well, all of these are random thoughts (or things people have said to me) that I think are so dumb, but they also crack me up.  Good thing I think I'm funny if I have to live with myself forever, right?


Just because you are a couple doesn't mean you get the right of way.  A couple was walking on a path that could easily have room for three and a half people.  So, they made sure I had room to walk on the grass to the side.

Wash your hair.  This was my sister's advice on attracting boys.

Let's be honest; I'm shallow. Part of a conversation in which I shared that I would like to be attracted to my future husband.

When boys think they are too cool to date me, I'm just like, "It's okay. I'll just be single forever."

Your meal packaging says three servings, so you're obviously going to eat the whole thing. Actually, I think the packaging of the food that I was about to eat was four servings.  I still ate all of them anyway. Pistachio pudding--it's a weakness.

If I had a quarter for every time I've said, "I love you," I'd probably have a quarter. (I thought I'd try it once.)

I am so glad to be apart of the family. I see this on Facebook all the time.  It's written by people who are trying to seem friendly, but really they hate the family.  They just want everyone to think they are nice and skip over the fact that apart means away from.  They enjoy their time away from the family.

All my roommates are talking about their significant others, and I'm just over here drawing on my hands.
Proof:


Shallmano  This one is more of a memory.  I thought this was a word until I truly understood the words of "As I have Loved You."  Children don't always know what they are singing.

Some of the scariest moments in my life are when I have a negative thought and someone asks me, "What?" And then I panic for a few seconds until I realize that I didn't say it out loud.  Truth.  I know that I have wicked thoughts, it's just scary when other people know my wicked thoughts.

You'll look like a man. This is my sister convincing me not to cut my hair.  Don't worry, I wasn't actually going to.

It's just such a good bruise I can't stop looking at it.  Just look at it!


When everyone says that I have straight, blonde hair, and then the hairs that come out of my head are black and curly: why is my hair so weird?  I had another conversation about my hair being straight the other day, maybe I should just wear my hair down, so people can see it's absurdity.

When your can'ting is so can't full that you really just can't. So you just go for a bike ride instead of homework.  I'm done with schoolwork.  My brain can't do it anymore.  So, I've gone on quite a few bike rides this semester.  And rollerblading a few times.

Dates don't exist in my life. Not even the ones you put on oatmeal.  I actually had a date a few days after I said this.  It was the kind you put on oatmeal.  It was in a Christmas cookie.

When I have to buy small or extra small clothing, I wonder how people smaller than me live comfortably.  When I hit my head on the shower head, I wonder how people who are taller than me live comfortably.  At 5'8", I am the shortest of my dad and siblings, so our shower is nice and tall.  I don't hit my head here.

What a great ending to the year.  It'll be interesting to see what weird thoughts I have in 2017.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Freaking Lemons. I Hate Lemons.

First, somehow I am still alive.  And yes, I am still alive.  Those who actually read my blog (my aunt) may be wondering where I have been for the last month.  The answer:  In an alley, getting beat on by my classes and others of life's lemons.  Beware those lemons; they tough.  However, I thought I would share some of my lemons with you.



Lemon 1: School
This semester actually has me worried that I might fail.  And then I won't be able to graduate.  I have to take these classes over.  Which I don't want to do because of lemon 2.

Lemon 2: BYU/Provo Culture
I have a different blog post all about leaving BYU that I was going to post at the end of this semester.  However, I guess I'm not leaving Provo.  I don't know why.  I really want to because I hate it here.  However, I'm at this point because of lemon 3.

Lemon 3: Revelation?
Frankly, I don't know how to receive revelation.  I had made up my mind that I was going back to Arizona (or just going to Hawaii) to do my internship or to work until I could find an internship.  I felt really good about this decision.  And then I didn't.  And then I felt like I needed to stay in Utah.  Why?  I don't know.  I hate it here.  I don't fit in.  The reason I don't fit in is because of lemon 4.

Lemon 4: Unlovable
Once upon a time, my companion told me that I was unlovable.  Don't worry, I don't actually believe that no one can love me (for the most part).  I just have a hard time feeling love.  I don't know why, but I can't seem to make myself feel love from other people.  I enjoy being around people, but I don't understand that people enjoy being around me.  I am working on it.  I think.  I am trying to destroy that belief system. It's kind of hard to destroy them because of lemon 5.

Lemon 5: Singleness
This one is kind of a double-edged sword.  My roommates are in relationships and want me to be in one.  However, the only boys that ask me on dates are ones that I know I would be a bad match with.  And I don't ask boys on dates because of lemon 6.

Lemon 6: Self-Confidence
I'm pretty sure I'm awkward.  I don't want to embarrass anyone by asking them on dates.  I don't have confidence when it comes to being social.  I'm afraid that I make others feel awkward if I talk to them.  And that's why I don't talk to people.  Okay, this may be the same as lemon 4, but it plays a big role in my life.  I just need to let faith and just doing it overcome my fears and insecurities.  I can be better than what I currently am.

Though this is condensed, it is an okay representation of the lemons that want to beat on me.  I have let myself down so many times this semester.  I have run away so many times this semester.  I just want to run away for real though.  I'm not doing so great.  Luckily, I remembered a song yesterday that helps me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsaSmU5AQds

Somehow I keep going.  I have been quite useless this semester, but I'm going to make it.  I hope.  Only two more weeks.  I'm so ready to be done.  This is where prayer becomes my constant companion.  Where did happiness go?  I don't know, but soon it will be back.  I know it will.  I'm going to bring it back.  It has no choice.

P.S. Don't think about too much, but now lemons looks like a really weird word.

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